When A Good Friend Is Critically Ill

I have a very good friend whom I have known for over 45 years. She was hospitalized yesterday and was in critical condition with pneumonia. As she has only one sort-of-good lung this is bad for her.

I spent time trying to figure out if I could get to when she is - but with it being Spring break - there were few flights available and they were almost $2,000 RT [for a flight that normally costs max $400 RT].

But her family asked that no one come while she is in the hospital as she is being cared for - so some will go after she is home...but the whole day left me wiped out from the idea of the potential loss of a good friend who is more like family than my actual family [except my son]

We all die - that is a given once we are born - but few of us like to face the reality when it's close to home. I teach and write about aging and always talk about dying as a part of the process. I will now have to re-assess my feelings about what I write and what I say on the topic.

One week into January

Are you still resolute?

Did you make goals for the year?

There are some [usually younger] who would wonder why we "old" people make resolutions or goals. I always remember a Lifespan class I taught many years ago in Boston. It was within a university unit which allowed those over 65 to take classes for free and my class included a man who had retired to Boston. [That alone seemed odd to many of the younger members of the class.]

One of our projects consisted of students interviewing people of different ages on topics such as work, family, future plans and death. Some of the younger members of the class were very uncomfortable with the idea of asking people in their 60's, 70's or older about a future or death. The 65-year-old man thought that was interesting. He told them that most his age would have no trouble answering those questions.

"After all," he added, "some of you will die long before I do." A long silence ensued and then we had a very lively discussion of life expectancy, risk taking and health...I still remember that particular class and I am guessing most in the class do as well.

We who are now older don't mind discussing the future or our own plans and goals for it. Who knows how long we will live...but no matter how long it is - we need goals and plans. I have written mine - I have serious income producing plans for my business for this and future years..




Excelsior! [ I am a native New Yorker :)]